I’m the Fairy Felon,
Plotting perfect crimes.
I am an angel with artillery.
The Fat breasted,
Long-legged prize.
I’m the Holy Hologram, the Bishop of the Bombshells,
Bulldozing your beliefs,
Incinerating lies.
I'm the Party Prophet,
Your midnight marathon.
With my brigade of bitches,
I shine sanctity through your SSRIs.
I am the top secret love child of Mary Kate Olsen and Alex Jones.
The Propagatior of Pinky Promises,
The Harbinger of the Holy War
Inciting Divine intervention at the Drive Thru.
I am a Celestial Centerfield
The Elves, they crowned me Pope.
I was carved from the northern lights,
And now I’m stuck in the samsara of success.
I’m the ancient baby
Hailing from a high chair, up in heaven.
I’m the ambassador to the anarchists, the hysteria of hope.
I used interdimensional insect repellent
And restored the Holy Grail.
I am an urban myth,
the Lady of the Legends
Strip teasing in your supermarket
Cleaning up your conscience.
I’m Mrs. Molotov cocktail,
The Red Haired Riot
A convulsing orgasm at the DMV.
I’m the Mother of Mutiny.
Lactating champagne
Over peanut butter politicians.
The bulletproof bachelorette,
that leaves hickeys on your halo.
I’m the treasure technician,
Twirling like a teaspoon.
The Imperial Ballerina
From the Empath Embassy.
I am the interruption in your regularly scheduled program
The Supple static,
Dragging you out of dementia .
I am topless on the trampoline.
I get to glimpse at God.
I’m the shadow-fucker,
The dick detective, doctor of your dreams
I’m burning up your bullshit
Mapping out your schemes.
I am a turbo-charged Lamborghini
The prize in your garage,
Top-tier, Top shelf. God Mode.
Groping you in the garden.
I won the Sex Olympics
And all the Pirates crowned me Princess.
I’m the luxury locomotive
Crusading through the canyon,
Omitting Airborne Ecstasy,
Crop dusting crackhead courage.
I’m the Celtic Countess
Spraying severance through your blood stream.
I’ve kidnapped your celebrities.
I am the vigilante vaccination
The antidote, the cure.
I’m the Cunt Commander,
Dictating Mass Affection.
The Mojo Medium
Quenching your secret thirst.
Jesus is my ancestor, and I’m the Bible Belt Baroness.
I know how to speak fluent Dragon,
and I’m also the best dressed.