my heart is erupting. I feel bouts of ancient pain surge up in my chest. Ancient pain that only can be alleivated by very ancient love. It’s like remembering how it felt to depart from God for the first time. I realize I have been around too many people since summer, have seldom the room to reacquaint with silent knowing, so I take some space. I collect English hunting prints and move around my furniture. I scavenge the internet as if I am locating something I lost or left behind. I find myself looking at maps of stargazes, deciphering an exit strategy for earth, or this realm, or this timeline- whatever.